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Writer's Block: It's cold outside

I live in Minnesota, so it's funny to hear people in places like California complaining about the cold. What temperature is too cold for you?

Weekend

My parents came to visit me this weekend and they took me shopping in the nearest big city. We spent about 5 hours there. I really needed to get some new jeans and my mom just about freaked out when she realized she was going to have to buy me size 00 jeans. Then all I heard for the rest of the weekend was "you need to eat more". And then when they left to head back home they dropped a ton of food off for me to eat in my dorm. I feel bad that they spent all that money on it only to have me throw it all away. But I'm not going to eat it.

My parents also met my boyfriend for the first time this weekend. I think it went alright, but I'll find out tomorrow when I talk to my mom. I was so pissed off at her though because after she meets my boyfriend one of the first things out of her mouth is, "does she eat when she's around you? Because she's not eating enough. She's lost so much weight. You should watch her more closely." Gee, thanks mom. That was brilliant. Ugh, now he's just going to give me even more trouble when I skip lunch with him.

Study, Study, Study!

 I have two tests coming up this week. One tomorrow at noon and one on Tuesday at 9 in the morning. No classes on Wednesday though, so I'm excited about that! Hopefully I'll spend the day with my boyfriend. Speaking of the boyfriend, he knows I've lost 10 pounds since coming back to school this year. He thinks its because I'm never hungry, which is partially true, and also because I'm vegetarian and I have very limited choices. Which is also true, but it doesn't matter much since I hardly eat anyway. I still like to complain about it to keep up appearances though. Anyway, he thinks I'm going to eat more normally once I go home for Thanksgiving break because I'll have more options. He'll be right in a sense, seeing as I tend to binge when I go home. Hopefully I'll be able to control it this time, fingers crossed! So basically he doesn't think I have an eating disorder, he just thinks I'm not eating much because I don't believe in eating meat. And I don't, but that isn't why I'm not eating. 

Hungry

 I hate the feeling of hunger, but i love the feeling I get when I can defeat it. I just want to feel light, like air. Unfortunately my trip home last weekend resulted in me gaining about 4 pounds. Ugh. And now that I'm back at school, I'm not sure how much I weigh. I need to get to my boyfriend's place and use his scale. Maybe tomorrow. Speaking of my boyfriend, I think he's starting to get a little suspicious of my eating habits. I want to tell him about my issues with food, I just can't bring myself to do it. I've talked a little vaguely about it and he's usually very perceptive so I'm sure he's figured some of it out. 

October!

 Definitely excited that it's finally October! Halloween soon! I bought my costume the other day. I love it, but it's a little too big. But it's the smallest size available. So I'm happy about that. But maybe I shouldn't have boughten it since it doesn't fit properly. Oh well. 

Finally weighing in under 110 pounds. Definitely happy about that. And I love that I can check my weight every weekend when I stay over at my boyfriend's place. Without his scale I would have no clue as to what I weigh. Still not happy with my weight though. Need to get it down further. I've been bingeing like crazy lately. It's pissing me off. I've gained 2 pounds, putting me at 108. And this bingeing is making me purge way more than usual. Not a habit I'd like to get into. I need get back to restricting. 

Hopefully going home this coming weekend. My mom is going to freak out when she sees me though. I told her I haven't lost any more weight since coming back to school. But in truth I've lost about 10 pounds since school started. And she's going to want to discuss the situation with my boyfriend. She doesn't like him, despite the fact that she has never met him. On the bright side, I'll get to see my best friend from home, so i'm super excited about that! 

I hate snow

 Seriously, it's almost May. It should not be snowing! Let alone sticking. Why did I choose to go to a university located in the middle of nowhere? Let alone a university where it has the audacity to let it snow at the end of April. This is ridiculous.

On the bright side, I've managed to lose 3 pounds over the las few days. Steadily dropping about a pound a day. Thank the lord I'm not stuck in the 120's anymore.  

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nonsensical5
nonsensical5

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